| Christmas is here again. It is a time of year | | | | |
| we all look forward to with excitement and | | | | Solution: You either need to: |
| anticipation. But it can be a time of year | | | | |
| when you feel overwhelmed, stressed, even | | | | 1. Lower your expectation of how the exterior |
| depressed. So what makes the difference | | | | of your house will be decorated |
| between enjoying the holidays and having a | | | | |
| nervous breakdown? | | | | 2. Convey to your husband how important that |
| | | | is to you and lovingly ask if he would be |
| First of all, we all have certain definitions | | | | willing to help you (realizing that you don't |
| and expectations of what Christmas is. Of | | | | want to manipulate or hold a grudge if he |
| course the most basic reason and definition | | | | doesn't agree to meet your expectations). |
| of "Christ"mas is that we celebrate the birth | | | | |
| of Christ. (A fact that is far too often | | | | 3. Compromise ("Honey, could you please just |
| overlooked which we will talk more about in a | | | | do one string of lights around the front |
| moment.) Review the following list of typical | | | | roofline of the house?") |
| Christmas events and chores and consider in | | | | |
| these areas what your expectations for the | | | | 4. Do it yourself. |
| season, and of yourself. | | | | |
| | | | 5. Go without lights. |
| -Making up a gift list | | | | |
| | | | Throughout this whole exercise, realize that |
| -Shopping for those gifts | | | | the whole purpose of putting up lights on the |
| | | | outside of your house is to celebrate the |
| -Making, wrapping, mailing gifts | | | | festivities, enrich your family's enjoyment, |
| | | | and celebrate the love of the season. If your |
| -Making cards | | | | expectations of putting up Christmas lights |
| | | | detract from that, then it may not be worth |
| -Writing cards | | | | doing. |
| | | | |
| -Holiday baking | | | | A tradition I grew up with is that every year |
| | | | my parents wrote a family Christmas letter |
| -Getting and decorating the tree | | | | summarizing the events of the year. Often |
| | | | this was the only yearly contact they had |
| -Decorating the house | | | | with old friends. What a wonderful tradition! |
| | | | |
| -Putting up Christmas lights | | | | However, several years the season got a |
| | | | little too busy. Other events and commitments |
| -Helping with school activities | | | | took priority. Sometimes their annual |
| | | | Christmas letter became a New Year's or |
| -Helping with church activities | | | | Valentine's Day letter. (I think I even |
| | | | recall an Easter letter.) That's okay--I've |
| -Volunteer or charity work | | | | only done Christmas letters perhaps half of |
| | | | the years my husband and I have been married. |
| -Traditional holiday events (concerts, plays, | | | | I need to re-evaluate that as a priority, as |
| festivals) | | | | I certainly enjoy receiving them from |
| | | | others.. |
| -Special holiday cleaning | | | | |
| | | | A friend let me borrow a wonderful book |
| -Preparing for houseguests | | | | called Unplug the Christmas Machine by Jo |
| | | | Robinson and Jean Coppock Staeheli. It was |
| -Preparing company meals | | | | published in 1982 and I don't know if it is |
| | | | still in print, but it is a wonderful book |
| -Hosting parties | | | | with much insight as to how to put the love |
| | | | back into the season. These two women have |
| -Planning family gatherings | | | | conducted many workshops and seminars along |
| | | | this line before writing the book. Through |
| -Preparing for holiday travel | | | | their research they discovered that the four |
| | | | most important things children really want |
| Now that you've mentally determined your | | | | for Christmas are (no it's not Game Boy |
| expectations, what are your resources? | | | | Advance, or Bratz Dolls): |
| | | | |
| How much time do you have available for these | | | | 1. Relaxed and loving time with the family |
| extra activities? | | | | |
| | | | 2. Realistic expectations about gifts |
| Do you work full-time or part-time outside | | | | |
| your home? | | | | 3. An evenly paced holiday season |
| | | | |
| What everyday commitments do you already | | | | 4. Strong family traditions |
| have? | | | | |
| | | | The whole reason we want to give our children |
| Are there other people in your family to whom | | | | gifts at Christmas is to show them that they |
| these things are important and who would be | | | | are loved and wanted. This can sometimes be |
| willing to help? | | | | self-defeating when we stress ourselves with |
| | | | so many expectations that we as parents end |
| That last sentence is really an important one | | | | up being grouchy and depressed! And we spend |
| to analyze. | | | | so much time trying to accomplish every item |
| | | | on our "to do" list that we even spend less |
| Dilemma: You have an expectation that | | | | time than normal with our family. |
| Christmas just isn't Christmas without having | | | | |
| hundreds of lights gracing the outside of | | | | I think that is why family Christmas |
| your home, trees and bushes. But you have so | | | | traditions are so beloved and important. It |
| many other to-do lists that you expect your | | | | is family time that can be remembered, |
| spouse to take care of the lights--(after | | | | counted on and carried on year after year to |
| all, your father always took care of that | | | | bring comfort and security. |
| when you were growing up.) Your husband never | | | | |
| grew up with lights on the exterior of the | | | | This year re-examine what Christmas is and |
| house and it just isn't that important to | | | | what you want it to be to you and your |
| him. | | | | family. |