| It's undeniably difficult raising children in | | | | |
| a changing world. | | | | pressured. With time, their natural |
| | | | proclivities, abilities and |
| You want the best for your children and you | | | | |
| want them to | | | | talents will become more apparent and they |
| | | | will gravitate |
| fulfill their potential with each new | | | | |
| activity that they undertake | | | | towards certain activities, while dropping |
| | | | others. In order for |
| but, in a society where certain endeavors | | | | |
| are still too often | | | | each to find the career and the leisure time |
| | | | activities that are |
| considered to be the domain of males only or | | | | |
| of females | | | | a perfect fit for them, however, they need |
| | | | to have a |
| only, it may take a bit of effort to create | | | | |
| a maximum of | | | | smorgasbord of things from which to choose. |
| | | | Sure, this is |
| opportunities for your children, whether | | | | |
| they be girls or boys.Every child, and for | | | | all just common sense but, amid the hustle |
| that matter, every adult, has innate | | | | and bustle of |
| | | | |
| aptitudes for certain things. Some kids may | | | | everyday life, it's easy to reinforce old |
| do better in | | | | gender roles and |
| | | | |
| school than others do, some excel in verbal | | | | girl/boy stereotypes without even being |
| skills, and for | | | | consciously aware |
| | | | |
| others their forte may be analytical skills | | | | that they exist.After a childhood rich in |
| or problem-solving. | | | | opportunities and choices, a young |
| | | | |
| Mathematics and science come more easily to | | | | woman still may ultimately choose a |
| some | | | | profession that's |
| | | | |
| children than to others, while some are good | | | | always been a female-dominated one and |
| with their | | | | become a nurse |
| | | | |
| hands. Many are curious about how machines | | | | or a teacher, for example, and that is fine. |
| function. | | | | Those can be |
| | | | |
| Some have the patience and perseverence to | | | | wonderful choices and they're important jobs |
| stick with a | | | | in our society. |
| | | | |
| complex new project, and some don't. Certain | | | | I'm not denigrating any one job in relation |
| children have | | | | to any other job. I |
| | | | |
| a talent for drawing or for music. The | | | | just feel that a choice can only truly be a |
| possibilities and the | | | | choice when it is |
| | | | |
| individual variations are limitless.As | | | | chosen from a maximum variety of |
| children grow up, what each child becomes is | | | | possibilities. If a girl (or a |
| a | | | | |
| | | | boy) becomes a nurse because it is the job |
| combination of these innate aptitudes, | | | | that most |
| exposure to a variety | | | | |
| | | | appeals to her or him, that's wonderful. If |
| of topics and activities and experiences, | | | | a girl grows up to |
| plus the | | | | |
| | | | be a nurse, however, because she never |
| character-building lessons learned from | | | | realized that her |
| parents, teachers, | | | | |
| | | | interest in health care might have led her |
| siblings, peers and others. One part of the | | | | to become a great |
| equation, without | | | | |
| | | | heart surgeon, then that is sad and not a |
| the others, may lead nowhere. A particular | | | | true choice.Ii's not just little girls who |
| child may have | | | | might suffer from an |
| | | | |
| the potential to become a great musician | | | | unnecessarily restricted set of choices. |
| but, unless that | | | | Little boys should |
| | | | |
| child is exposed to a variety of musical | | | | also have the opportunity to experiment with |
| forms or has the | | | | the widest |
| | | | |
| opportunity to see and touch musical | | | | possible range of activities and interests. |
| instruments and learn | | | | If dolls can help |
| | | | |
| to play whichever one appeals to him or her, | | | | little girls practice for motherhood or for |
| it may come to | | | | social interactions |
| | | | |
| nothing. Another child might grow up to | | | | with their peers, then why can't they help |
| contribute great | | | | little boys learn to |
| | | | |
| things to medical science but, unless taught | | | | be more nurturing future fathers ?Doing |
| basic biology | | | | their share of household chores can help all |
| | | | chidren become more responsible and |
| and other sciences, that child will never | | | | cooperative adults, but don't |
| see medicine as a | | | | |
| | | | automatically make girls wash the dishes |
| possible career choice.To allow your | | | | while boys take |
| children to develop into the most that they | | | | |
| can | | | | out the garbage. Teach both sexes that all |
| | | | family members |
| be, it's up to you to guide their education, | | | | |
| in terms of their | | | | share both in the labors of and the rewards |
| | | | of family life. |
| choices, from the variety of classes | | | | |
| available to them at | | | | Both can help with the housework, both can |
| | | | help care for the |
| school, to their afterschool activities, | | | | |
| public library use, the | | | | new baby, and both can learn to be |
| | | | responsible for the care |
| joining of local clubs, and the use of other | | | | |
| resources which | | | | of family pets. That way, everyone wins. The |
| | | | world could do |
| are available within your community or | | | | |
| beyond it. You can | | | | with more men who see housework as something |
| | | | that |
| also pass your own special skills, | | | | |
| storehouse of | | | | everyone in the family shares equally, who |
| | | | become equal |
| knowledge, and interests on to your | | | | |
| children.Children are little bundles of | | | | partners in the raising of their own |
| potential. When raising your | | | | children, and who |
| | | | |
| children, try to be ever conscious of this, | | | | develop their interpersonal skills, along |
| and of the subtle | | | | with their muscles. |
| | | | |
| sex role stereotyping that you yourself may | | | | With that in mind, don't restrict your sons' |
| have grown up | | | | extracurricular |
| | | | |
| with and how it might affect what you offer | | | | activities to all things macho. Your son may |
| to your daughters | | | | be a budding |
| | | | |
| or to your sons. As toddlers, are girls | | | | Njinsky or Fred Astaire but he, and you, |
| given dolls and boys | | | | will never know it if |
| | | | |
| given toy trucks ? Is a seven-year-old boy | | | | he's never exposed to a single dance step.As |
| signed up for Little | | | | with other types of unfair limitations on |
| | | | individuals' |
| League, while a girl is offered ballet | | | | |
| lessons ?There's nothing wrong with little | | | | aspirations or lack of opportunities because |
| girls playing with dolls and | | | | of culture, race, |
| | | | |
| taking dance lessons. Those activities are | | | | income level, or physical handicap, for |
| fine. Dolls are | | | | example, gender is a |
| | | | |
| fun and they allow little girls to | | | | poor excuse for narrowing children's choices |
| vicariously experiment with | | | | or placing |
| | | | |
| and prepare for real life social | | | | ceilings on their dreams. It's all too easy |
| interactions. Dance lessons | | | | for all of us to revert to old sex roles |
| | | | without even thinking, as some of these are |
| may reveal a future professional dancer or | | | | |
| give your | | | | so deeply ingrained in our society, in |
| | | | popular culture, and in |
| daughter the pleasure of a lifelong hobby, a | | | | |
| great way to | | | | the media. With a bit of care and thought, |
| | | | though, we can |
| stay trim and fit, or a passion for ballet | | | | |
| music. The problem | | | | help the next generation build a society |
| | | | where boys and |
| arises if little girls are only exposed to | | | | |
| traditional "female" | | | | girls, women and men are all freer to find |
| | | | meaning in their |
| pursuits and interests, such as dolls and | | | | |
| dance lessons. | | | | lives by following their personal dreams, |
| | | | choosing the |
| Starting from the youngest age, give girls | | | | |
| the opportunity to | | | | career track that's right for them, and |
| | | | developing hobbies |
| play with toy boats and cars and trains, as | | | | |
| well. Encourage | | | | that are a perfect fit for their individual |
| | | | interests and abilities. |
| participation in organized sports and, when | | | | |
| old enough, give | | | | To do this, all they need is plenty to |
| | | | choose from and the |
| your daughters science experiment kits. | | | | |
| Don't limit your | | | | chance to try out whatever interests |
| | | | them.Visit Children's Clothing, Stories and |
| children's potentials by restricting their | | | | Family Gifts |
| activities to | | | | |
| | | | from Baby Bird Productions to see Barbara |
| traditional gender-based categories.As your | | | | |
| daughters grow up, expose them to as many | | | | Freedman-De Vito's catalog of fun animated |
| | | | children's |
| different pursuits, of all types, as you | | | | |
| can. Let them know | | | | stories on CDs, as well as clothing and gift |
| | | | items decorated |
| how important their intellectual | | | | |
| achievements and success | | | | with pictures from the stories. Barbara has |
| | | | spent years as a |
| in school are to you. Show them your pride | | | | |
| in their | | | | children's librarian, teacher, professional |
| | | | storyteller, |
| accomplishments, but without making them | | | | |
| feel unduly | | | | puppeteer, author and artist. |