Raising Children With Choices

It's undeniably difficult raising children in a changing				talents will become more apparent and they will
world.				gravitate
You want the best for your children and you want				towards certain activities, while dropping others. In
them to				order for
fulfill their potential with each new activity that they				each to find the career and the leisure time activities
undertake				that are
but, in a society where certain endeavors are still				a perfect fit for them, however, they need to have
too often				a
considered to be the domain of males only or of				smorgasbord of things from which to choose. Sure,
females				this is
only, it may take a bit of effort to create a				all just common sense but, amid the hustle and
maximum of				bustle of
opportunities for your children, whether they be girls				everyday life, it's easy to reinforce old gender roles
or boys.Every child, and for that matter, every adult,				and
has innate				girl/boy stereotypes without even being consciously
aptitudes for certain things. Some kids may do				aware
better in				that they exist.After a childhood rich in opportunities
school than others do, some excel in verbal skills,				and choices, a young
and for				woman still may ultimately choose a profession
others their forte may be analytical skills or				that's
problem-solving.				always been a female-dominated one and become a
Mathematics and science come more easily to some				nurse
				or a teacher, for example, and that is fine. Those
children than to others, while some are good with				can be
their				wonderful choices and they're important jobs in our
hands. Many are curious about how machines				society.
function.				I'm not denigrating any one job in relation to any
Some have the patience and perseverence to stick				other job. I
with a				just feel that a choice can only truly be a choice
complex new project, and some don't. Certain				when it is
children have				chosen from a maximum variety of possibilities. If a
a talent for drawing or for music. The possibilities				girl (or a
and the				boy) becomes a nurse because it is the job that
individual variations are limitless.As children grow up,				most
what each child becomes is a				appeals to her or him, that's wonderful. If a girl
combination of these innate aptitudes, exposure to				grows up to
a variety				be a nurse, however, because she never realized
of topics and activities and experiences, plus the				that her
character-building lessons learned from parents,				interest in health care might have led her to become
teachers,				a great
siblings, peers and others. One part of the equation,				heart surgeon, then that is sad and not a true
without				choice.Ii's not just little girls who might suffer from an
the others, may lead nowhere. A particular child may
have				unnecessarily restricted set of choices. Little boys
the potential to become a great musician but, unless				should
that				also have the opportunity to experiment with the
child is exposed to a variety of musical forms or has				widest
the				possible range of activities and interests. If dolls can
opportunity to see and touch musical instruments				help
and learn				little girls practice for motherhood or for social
to play whichever one appeals to him or her, it may				interactions
come to				with their peers, then why can't they help little boys
nothing. Another child might grow up to contribute				learn to
great				be more nurturing future fathers ?Doing their share
things to medical science but, unless taught basic				of household chores can help all chidren become
biology				more responsible and cooperative adults, but don't
and other sciences, that child will never see medicine				automatically make girls wash the dishes while boys
as a				take
possible career choice.To allow your children to				out the garbage. Teach both sexes that all family
develop into the most that they can				members
be, it's up to you to guide their education, in terms				share both in the labors of and the rewards of
of their				family life.
choices, from the variety of classes available to				Both can help with the housework, both can help
them at				care for the
school, to their afterschool activities, public library				new baby, and both can learn to be responsible for
use, the				the care
joining of local clubs, and the use of other resources				of family pets. That way, everyone wins. The world
which				could do
are available within your community or beyond it.				with more men who see housework as something
You can				that
also pass your own special skills, storehouse of				everyone in the family shares equally, who become
knowledge, and interests on to your children.Children				equal
are little bundles of potential. When raising your				partners in the raising of their own children, and who
children, try to be ever conscious of this, and of the
subtle				develop their interpersonal skills, along with their
sex role stereotyping that you yourself may have				muscles.
grown up				With that in mind, don't restrict your sons'
with and how it might affect what you offer to				extracurricular
your daughters				activities to all things macho. Your son may be a
or to your sons. As toddlers, are girls given dolls and				budding
boys				Njinsky or Fred Astaire but he, and you, will never
given toy trucks ? Is a seven-year-old boy signed				know it if
up for Little				he's never exposed to a single dance step.As with
League, while a girl is offered ballet lessons ?There's				other types of unfair limitations on individuals'
nothing wrong with little girls playing with dolls and				aspirations or lack of opportunities because of
taking dance lessons. Those activities are fine. Dolls				culture, race,
are				income level, or physical handicap, for example,
fun and they allow little girls to vicariously				gender is a
experiment with				poor excuse for narrowing children's choices or
and prepare for real life social interactions. Dance				placing
lessons				ceilings on their dreams. It's all too easy for all of us
may reveal a future professional dancer or give your				to revert to old sex roles without even thinking, as
				some of these are
daughter the pleasure of a lifelong hobby, a great				so deeply ingrained in our society, in popular culture,
way to				and in
stay trim and fit, or a passion for ballet music. The				the media. With a bit of care and thought, though,
problem				we can
arises if little girls are only exposed to traditional				help the next generation build a society where boys
"female"				and
pursuits and interests, such as dolls and dance				girls, women and men are all freer to find meaning in
lessons.				their
Starting from the youngest age, give girls the				lives by following their personal dreams, choosing the
opportunity to
play with toy boats and cars and trains, as well.				career track that's right for them, and developing
Encourage				hobbies
participation in organized sports and, when old				that are a perfect fit for their individual interests and
enough, give				abilities.
your daughters science experiment kits. Don't limit				To do this, all they need is plenty to choose from
your				and the
children's potentials by restricting their activities to				chance to try out whatever interests them.Visit
traditional gender-based categories.As your				Children's Clothing, Stories and Family Gifts
daughters grow up, expose them to as many				from Baby Bird Productions to see Barbara
different pursuits, of all types, as you can. Let them				Freedman-De Vito's catalog of fun animated
know				children's
how important their intellectual achievements and				stories on CDs, as well as clothing and gift items
success				decorated
in school are to you. Show them your pride in their				with pictures from the stories. Barbara has spent
accomplishments, but without making them feel				years as a
unduly				children's librarian, teacher, professional storyteller,
pressured. With time, their natural proclivities, abilities				puppeteer, author and artist.
and

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Raising Children With Choices

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