| As a school psychologist, as well as the | | | | How to type; |
| mother of a child with a chronic health | | | | |
| condition, I understand all too well the | | | | How to honor time commitments; |
| intimidation that accompanies entering the | | | | |
| "bargaining" sessions of IEP meetings. There | | | | How to respectfully interact with peers; |
| are ways, however, to stack the proverbial | | | | |
| cards in your favor. Read on... | | | | Etc. |
| | | | |
| To begin with, be prepared for anything. Keep | | | | Now, doesn't that look more like what you |
| accurate documentation and note the dates and | | | | were thinking? |
| times that everything occurs. I'm not | | | | |
| exaggerating - EVERYTHING. Every phone call, | | | | You may not get all of them, but you'll get |
| every progress report, etc. Nothing is more | | | | some - and that's way more specific than "get |
| intimidating to IEP teams than a parent who | | | | a job," so there'll be a bit more work |
| has prepared for their meeting. A parent with | | | | required of your Team. Good. |
| a Plan of their own is scary for us, because | | | | |
| what if we look like idiots, or offend you? | | | | Third, know you'll run into snags. There will |
| That's why you have to come into meetings | | | | be red tape you'll have to circumvent; you'll |
| prepared for anything, almost as if you're | | | | meet people whose goal it is to keep children |
| documenting for a Due Process hearing. You | | | | from receiving services (yes, after all of |
| never know, you might have to "go there." | | | | those years of education, you would think |
| | | | we're all in this for the children. Yet some |
| Second, know your rights. Ask for a copy of | | | | of our colleagues are actually naysayers); |
| your State's Parental Rights in Special | | | | you'll hear all about how "this is not how we |
| Education (PRISE) for your review before you | | | | operate" when you present documentation |
| attend any meeting at all. You can find the | | | | proving otherwise; etc. You'll certainly |
| PRISE for your State by entering a search on | | | | learn a lesson in frustration tolerance. |
| Google. | | | | |
| | | | If you're lucky, you won't have to deal with |
| Third, know you're an active participant and | | | | any of the above. But I doubt it. |
| that no one can force a program on you or | | | | |
| your child. For example, some schools will | | | | Fourth, learn from the negatives and |
| hand you an IEP that they've already devised | | | | appreciate the positives. You will also learn |
| before you got there, with hopes that the | | | | some positive things, such as knowing when to |
| meeting will go quickly and you'll just sign | | | | give up. By this I don't mean walking out on |
| and leave. But that's like going to an | | | | your plan, but knowing when to compromise. |
| Italian restaurant and all that's on the menu | | | | |
| is spaghetti. Your child is unique and to | | | | Fifth, know your child is entitled to |
| truly devise an individualized plan, all of | | | | individuality. If you look at evaluations, |
| those involved should plan on spending at | | | | they might all seem the same. You don't want |
| least one hour talking through the parts of | | | | your child's IEP to be just like everyone |
| the plan that are going to affect the child | | | | else's, or they'll be ignored. Trust me on |
| academically and socio-emotionally. | | | | this one. I have seen 1,000's of IEPs and |
| | | | rarely does the school hold itself |
| Know what you want before you go in there. | | | | responsible for child failure. It's always |
| Have a Mission in mind, know your goals, and | | | | "Johnny X" or "Johnny's mom Y." Make sure |
| outline your strategies before you even step | | | | your child's IEP delineates what has NOT been |
| foot in that room. For example, you'll need | | | | done for him - not just what has been. |
| goals for your child. Make sure you've broken | | | | |
| them down to the smallest components before | | | | You just want us to fix what you've done |
| you ask for them - you'll be surprised how | | | | wrong. |
| much more you get out of your request. | | | | |
| | | | Did that statement infuriate you? It's what |
| I.e., Goal: I want my child to be able to get | | | | most school staff thinks when you demand fair |
| - and hold - a job when they graduate. | | | | treatment. |
| | | | |
| Well, that's plain, isn't it? If you broke | | | | My advice? Listen more than you speak and ask |
| it down, however, you'd have: | | | | very specific questions - questions that |
| | | | merit elaboration on the part of your Team. |
| I want my child to learn: | | | | Most of all, remain respectful. No one likes |
| | | | a bully, or someone who blames everything on |
| How to respect authority; | | | | everyone else. |
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