| As a school psychologist, as well as the mother of a | | | | I want my child to learn: |
| child with a chronic health condition, I understand all | | | | How to respect authority; |
| too well the intimidation that accompanies entering | | | | How to type; |
| the "bargaining" sessions of IEP meetings. There are | | | | How to honor time commitments; |
| ways, however, to stack the proverbial cards in your | | | | How to respectfully interact with peers; |
| favor. Read on... | | | | Etc. |
| To begin with, be prepared for anything. Keep | | | | Now, doesn't that look more like what you were |
| accurate documentation and note the dates and | | | | thinking? |
| times that everything occurs. I'm not exaggerating - | | | | You may not get all of them, but you'll get some - |
| EVERYTHING. Every phone call, every progress | | | | and that's way more specific than "get a job," so |
| report, etc. Nothing is more intimidating to IEP teams | | | | there'll be a bit more work required of your Team. |
| than a parent who has prepared for their meeting. A | | | | Good. |
| parent with a Plan of their own is scary for us, | | | | Third, know you'll run into snags. There will be red |
| because what if we look like idiots, or offend you? | | | | tape you'll have to circumvent; you'll meet people |
| That's why you have to come into meetings | | | | whose goal it is to keep children from receiving |
| prepared for anything, almost as if you're | | | | services (yes, after all of those years of education, |
| documenting for a Due Process hearing. You never | | | | you would think we're all in this for the children. Yet |
| know, you might have to "go there." | | | | some of our colleagues are actually naysayers); you'll |
| Second, know your rights. Ask for a copy of your | | | | hear all about how "this is not how we operate" |
| State's Parental Rights in Special Education (PRISE) | | | | when you present documentation proving otherwise; |
| for your review before you attend any meeting at | | | | etc. You'll certainly learn a lesson in frustration |
| all. You can find the PRISE for your State by entering | | | | tolerance. |
| a search on Google. | | | | If you're lucky, you won't have to deal with any of |
| Third, know you're an active participant and that no | | | | the above. But I doubt it. |
| one can force a program on you or your child. For | | | | Fourth, learn from the negatives and appreciate the |
| example, some schools will hand you an IEP that | | | | positives. You will also learn some positive things, |
| they've already devised before you got there, with | | | | such as knowing when to give up. By this I don't |
| hopes that the meeting will go quickly and you'll just | | | | mean walking out on your plan, but knowing when to |
| sign and leave. But that's like going to an Italian | | | | compromise. |
| restaurant and all that's on the menu is spaghetti. | | | | Fifth, know your child is entitled to individuality. If you |
| Your child is unique and to truly devise an | | | | look at evaluations, they might all seem the same. |
| individualized plan, all of those involved should plan on | | | | You don't want your child's IEP to be just like |
| spending at least one hour talking through the parts | | | | everyone else's, or they'll be ignored. Trust me on |
| of the plan that are going to affect the child | | | | this one. I have seen 1,000's of IEPs and rarely does |
| academically and socio-emotionally. | | | | the school hold itself responsible for child failure. It's |
| Know what you want before you go in there. Have a | | | | always "Johnny X" or "Johnny's mom Y." Make sure |
| Mission in mind, know your goals, and outline your | | | | your child's IEP delineates what has NOT been done |
| strategies before you even step foot in that room. | | | | for him - not just what has been. |
| For example, you'll need goals for your child. Make | | | | You just want us to fix what you've done wrong. |
| sure you've broken them down to the smallest | | | | Did that statement infuriate you? It's what most |
| components before you ask for them - you'll be | | | | school staff thinks when you demand fair treatment. |
| surprised how much more you get out of your | | | | My advice? Listen more than you speak and ask |
| request. | | | | very specific questions - questions that merit |
| I.e., Goal: I want my child to be able to get - and hold | | | | elaboration on the part of your Team. Most of all, |
| - a job when they graduate. | | | | remain respectful. No one likes a bully, or someone |
| Well, that's plain, isn't it? If you broke it down, | | | | who blames everything on everyone else. |
| however, you'd have: | | | | |