| At the behest of my counselors, my parents did their | | | | my parents were eager for me to resume my |
| damnest to keep me preoccupied. Preoccupation was | | | | tempered behavior, which had become quite irrational |
| essential and theraputic, when consistent. Give an | | | | up in cowtown during Dad's absence. Even a heavy |
| ADHD'er an hour of unsupervised, unmedicated | | | | dose of good pentecostal discipline didn't keep me |
| freedom and bad things happened. I was no different | | | | from stirring up trouble at grandma's house. This |
| and in a lot of ways, worse. My impulsive actions | | | | culminated in the worst butt-whooping up to this |
| growing up placed me in a plethora of odd, harrowing | | | | point when I, a sixth grader, pissed off a well-known |
| and dangerous situations that, by themselves | | | | 5th grade bully (he had 20 + lbs on me) whereby I |
| seemed "normal" for that age but soon I realized | | | | was punched repeatedly in the face during a football |
| they happened with an increasing frequency. With | | | | game until I was bloodied and dazed. I remember well |
| the burst of adrenaline associated with these | | | | my mother standing over me, chewing me out for |
| situations, my mind was as clear in that moment as it | | | | running my mouth and instigating the whole mess. |
| would ever be. It was euphoric, enlightening and | | | | She needn't worry, I thought. My lips won't move for |
| appeared to me (and still does) that I function at my | | | | a few days anyway for they swelled so large even |
| coherant best when facing a "fight or flight" situation. | | | | Mick Jagger would be envious.But Dad was back, |
| So naturally, I put myself in these situations more | | | | Mom was happier than she'd ever been and we were |
| and more. I did a lot of bad. Sometimes I got caught | | | | heading home to San Antonio. By the eighth grade I |
| but mostly I got away with it. For that instance of | | | | was a brown belt. One belt away from black. It was |
| adrenaline and endorphine rush, I was the smartest, | | | | a moment I longed for and knew it was just a |
| fastest and coolest person on the face of this earth | | | | matter of time. Mark Nichols continue being my |
| and I was untouchable. Or so I thought.I wasn't | | | | "second father" and continued to impress my parents |
| untouchable the evening I spent the night at a | | | | with his control over me. For a spell, when I became |
| friends house, sometime during my 5th grade year | | | | raucheous my folks even resorted in threatening to |
| and decided that at 3 in the morning we would take | | | | call Mark and tell him of my antics, which usually |
| his fathers keys and drive his car around Lackland Air | | | | stopped the situation or reversed the behavior in it's |
| Force Base. Unfortunately for us we passed an MP | | | | tracks. I still had my moments but they were few |
| without our lights on. He waved at us to stop but we | | | | and far between. Achieving shodan status was the |
| plowed ahead, right into a large metal dumpster. We | | | | most important goal ever in my life up to that point |
| opened our doors and fled only to be caught and | | | | and I wouldn't let my erratic behavior jeopardize |
| arrested for joyriding. We were only 10 years old. | | | | that.Everything changed for me after a particular |
| Needless to say my ass looked like that of a baboon | | | | weekend outing at Canyon Lake, although I didn't |
| for a few days and I was grounded until the next | | | | realize why until much later. Most of the class had |
| winter solstice.It was clear then to my parents that I | | | | attended this particular outing at our usual spot on |
| needed more than baseball and school to occupy my | | | | the lake. Spread out in 3 cabins along the shore one |
| time. My violent outbursts at home as well as at | | | | night, most of the students slept. In our cabin were |
| school resulted in excessive paddling and many | | | | myself, students Dee, Chris C, Stacey C, Mark, his |
| instances of "running away." Typically, I would | | | | girlfriend and another male acquaintance. We kids |
| disappear for about an hour or two. Sometimes | | | | were running around here and there while the adults |
| longer. Once it was for 3 months. On more than one | | | | were sitting at a table consuming large amounts of |
| occasion I threatened suicide and was even found | | | | alcohol and spewing larger amounts of inappropriate |
| (as I had planned) hanging by my neck from the | | | | sexual lingo. These conversations peaked my |
| clothes rack in my closet by my mother. She slapped | | | | interests and I listened intently. I giggled at the talk |
| me across the head, told me dinner was ready and I | | | | of sex then proclaimed that I knew more about it |
| lived another day. I never seriously attempted to | | | | than they thought, which I didn't. No sooner did that |
| leave this plane but I've never really found it very | | | | lie fly from my lips did I find myself being walked into |
| comfortable living here either.They enrolled me into | | | | the back bedroom by Mark's girlfriend. This was |
| piano lessons, arts and crafts, boyscouts, sunday | | | | pretty damned exciting for a thirteen year old, I |
| school and church. I went to summer camp, winter | | | | must admit. She immediately challenged my false |
| camp, baseball camp. All to no avail. Baseball was a | | | | prowess by removing her pants, then her panties, |
| given. A ritual necessity for the whole family. But as | | | | spreading her legs and slowly pushing my head into |
| in all other aspects of my life that too saw the best | | | | her crotch. She gave me a lesson in the fine art of |
| and worst of me. I was prone to games of brillance, | | | | oral sex although she never reciprocated. I am not |
| followed by horrendous play. I threw bats, got into | | | | sure if that pissed me off then but it sure does |
| fights, was thrown out of games and even disciplined | | | | today. I remember tasting strawberry flavoring, like |
| right on the field for my impulsive, angry outbursts. It | | | | she had rubbed lip gloss or something down there |
| was a viscious cycle of violence, followed by | | | | before my pilgramage into the deep, dark somewhat |
| incredible affection (guilt perhaps). Of a heavenly | | | | malodorant forest.I didn't remember anything else |
| peace one minute and Damian the next.While | | | | that happened later that night for a full 15 + years. |
| perusing the youth center one day I stumbled across | | | | The pieces were filled in during a recurrent dream of |
| a martial arts class in progress. Not permitted to | | | | sodomy some years later. That dream then became |
| enter the dojo I sat just outside, watching the | | | | entrenched in my waking moments. Then one day, it |
| syncopated movements, the rapid strikes and kicks | | | | revealed it's first and only other character besides |
| and the unison chants of "Ki aye". The sensei, a | | | | me. It was Mark Adair Nichols. It was Mark Nichols |
| portly and short man, who wore a thick beared and | | | | who entered my room later that night to sodomize |
| had piercing blue eyes, made his way in and around | | | | me and threaten me if I told anyone. It was Mark |
| the class as they continued their lesson.Mark Nichols | | | | Nichols who assured my inherently agressive nature |
| always spoke in Japanese when speaking to his class. | | | | would turn violent, but this time directed not towards |
| Discipline, it was immediately apparent to me, was | | | | inanimate objects as had been the norm but towards |
| the key to success as a martial artist as well as in | | | | those I love, my friends, the innocent. I trusted no |
| life, as my parents tried so desparately to show me. | | | | one, not even my family. I was now armed and |
| I knew in an instant that I would be standing in the | | | | ready. Ready to take on anyone who threatened me |
| next class.Over the next 4 yrs I would dedicate | | | | in any way. Fear permeated my existence. To build a |
| myself to Mark Nichols and the "Bushido School of | | | | wall and to stand guard just inside it was my priority |
| the Japanese Martial Arts." The style was | | | | now. No one will ever penetrate it's walls ever again |
| Kobodo-jitsu with an emphasis on combat and | | | | to get to me. Those who would try would face a |
| weaponry. I immediately became a wiz with the | | | | violent thumping. I enterend a new world after that |
| nunchaku and progressed rapidly earning my green | | | | night on Canyon Lake. I didn't even realize why until |
| belt within 2 years. I also racked up quite a few | | | | much later. Looking back, it was effective in keeping |
| trophies for placing in weapons kata and kumite | | | | me safe but I also realized that while it kept the |
| (fighting). The pinacle came when I placed 3rd in | | | | unsavory out, it also kept out those I loved and kept |
| kumite at the US Amateur Karate Championship in | | | | me locked inside a dark, unforgiving, unloving |
| Houston at age 13 in my division. A few hours later I | | | | place.From around the time this particular horror came |
| was inches from falling 13 stories from the roof top | | | | to light, around age 27, I started carrying a 45 cal |
| of our hotel in downtown Houston. Needing an | | | | bullet with me. I would purchase the gun after |
| adrenaline fix I took the elevator to the top floor and | | | | determining Mark's where-abouts. I envisioned the |
| made my way to the stairs which opened up high on | | | | marking M.A.N. on the metal casing for Mark Adair |
| the rooftop of our hotel. Followed closely by an | | | | Nichols. For he was no man but a sick freak who |
| entourage of kids I made my way to the edge and | | | | would get what's coming to him, if only I could find |
| looked over just as a mysterious gust of wind thrust | | | | him. Subsequently it was determined that Mark |
| me forward leaving me flapping my arms in reverse | | | | Nichols had raped or molested several young boys in |
| as fast as I could, at a 45 degrree on the ledge of | | | | that class. One in particular, CB appeared to have |
| the enormous hotel. Then I was pulled back by one | | | | gotten the worst of it, when Mark Nichols conned his |
| of the assistant instructors, who was no older than I. | | | | family into allowing him to stay at their place, where |
| I lay on the deck of the roof for what seemed an | | | | he repeatedly molested CB over a 2 year period.I |
| eternity. I thought my heart was gonna spring from | | | | suppose because I immediately buried the incident in |
| my chest like "Alien". I believe I cried for a few | | | | my subconscious, I stayed with the class and |
| minutes and made my way downstairs to the safety | | | | continued towards my black belt. Coincidentally, |
| of my hotel room. Or so I thought.Mark Nichols took | | | | almost a year to the day later, I receive a "speed |
| me under his wing almost immediately. We went | | | | letter" from Sensei Nichols stating that I would soon |
| everywhere together. He taught me about respect, | | | | test for my black belt and that I should start my |
| discipline and self-control. He lectured me about | | | | preparations. I was witness to the indoctrination of |
| obeying my parents. He even threatened me. He | | | | DDP during her blackbelt testing, the thought of what |
| stayed in close contact with my parents and kept | | | | she endured that day haughted me. DD was |
| them abreast of my training and behavioral issues. | | | | pummeled by 3 instructors for a half hour straight. |
| Mom and Dad were immediately impressed and | | | | Bloodied and bruised with tears flowing, not from |
| noticed a change within the first months of training. | | | | pride mind you but from pain and humiliation, DD |
| They both remember this period as some of the | | | | gracefully accepted her black belt. Now it was my |
| most peaceful and productive of my young life. I | | | | turn. In hindsite I guess all Mark had on his mind was |
| stayed in baseball and continue to relish this new | | | | what was going through mine. Had I snitched on him? |
| peace within. I was in awe of this man who magically | | | | What did I remember? Did I know or understand the |
| "cured" me from my impulsive, angry outbursts and | | | | horrors perpetrated against me that night on Canyon |
| helped me focus my energy on the positive, on the | | | | Lake? I hadn't. It was tucked safely in my |
| arts and on success and growth. My grades | | | | subconscious but Mark didn't know that.In any event, |
| improved, I continued to progress in rank and | | | | Mark Nichols, DD and Sensei S. commenced to |
| eventually was helping the new students in the class. | | | | pounding me into submission. No gloves were used |
| On report of a problem at school I would not only | | | | but the fingers were taped to prevent gouging of |
| get a whipping at home but have to take one from | | | | the eyes. And for one half hour I was beaten to a |
| Mark as well. I would bow into to the dojo only to | | | | pulp until I lay on the mat crying uncontrollably and |
| feel Mark's cold eyes fixed on me up until I was | | | | bleeding profusely. After gaining my composure, I |
| called to the center ring where he punched and | | | | was awarded my black belt, oblivious now of the ass |
| kicked me into submission.This happened more times | | | | whooping I just received but filled with pride at |
| than I could count. He would also have the other | | | | achieving such a distinct honor. I had made it. I would |
| students/instructors punish me in similar fashion. My | | | | go forward and share my knowledge and skills with |
| 6th grade school year was spent in Ft Worth with | | | | others. I would now stand side by side with the |
| grandma but after Dad's return from the Phillipines | | | | other instructors with honor, pride and a new-found |
| we moved back to Lackland and continued our life | | | | discipline that would change my life for the better. Or |
| there. I was eager to continue with my training, as | | | | so I thought. |