Learning to Let Go

I started practicing yoga nine years ago because Ion the toilet. When the signs indicated that ovulation
wanted to look sexy. I bought B.K.S. Iyengar's Lightmight be close, I insisted that my husband and I "try"
on Yoga, and taught myself the asanas, following hisevery night. Sex became a chore, and when O-week,
suggested courses in the appendix. Within a fewas we called it, was over, neither of us was
months of regular practice, I could see and feel theinterested in making love for the rest of the month.
results. I was strong, limber, and best of all, myOver a year later, I still wasn't pregnant. Yet I
stomach was flat -- a state it hadn't enjoyed sincecontinued to ignore advice to focus on restorative
puberty. I was an immediate convert.poses during ovulation. I'd gotten pregnant before
But a convert to the sport of yoga, not its practice. Iand had a healthy daughter while swimming, biking,
treated yoga almost exclusively as an athleticjogging, and practicing yoga -- why couldn't I again?
discipline. I held each pose for the longest period ofFinally, after sixteen months without success, I went
time suggested and pushed myself to progress toto my yoga teacher for help. She suggested I enroll
the most advanced poses rather than deepen myin her therapeutics class, and there she taught me an
understanding of the basics. I didn't even bother toasana sequence, which included a series of supported
read Iyengar's introduction, in which he articulatesbackbending poses, supported Sirsasana, and
some of the basic philosophical principles of yogasupported Niralamba Sarvangasana (shoulder stand).
practice. Nor did I bother to find a teacher until aShe forbade me from continuing my regular practice,
good six years after I bought the book. I was doingand generally discouraged me from participating in
Sirsasana (headstand) for years without instruction.any truly vigorous physical activity, and for once, I
Once I did find a teacher, I still ignored her advice: Ifollowed her advice. I was not breaking a sweat in
practiced inversions at home at all times of theclass, but I did leave feeling healthy and restored.
month, figuring that the rationale that kept womenTwo weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. I still
from going upside down while menstruating was aam, eight months later: my baby's due at the end of
sexist holdover from ancient Indian culture. I didMay.
standing poses when I was sick, and if I felt at allIt's tempting to attribute the pregnancy to my yoga
pressed for time in my practice, Savasana (corpseteacher's advice and my altered practice, even
pose) was the first to go. When I got pregnant for athough I know I ovulated just before the first
second time, I kept up my athletic sequence,session of the new class. Still, who knows? There is a
dismissing the idea that I might try taking things easyweek between the fertilization of an egg and its
for a while.implantation in the uterus -- maybe those first two
Then at ten weeks of pregnancy, I went in forweeks of gentler practice created a friendlier
routine checkup and listened in vain for that rapidenvironment for that tiny blastula to find a home. It's
fetal heartbeat. The nurse squirted on more gel andimpossible to say. But whether or not I can credit
pressed the Doppler wand into my belly at everyyoga for my pregnancy, I know it's taught me a
conceivable angle, and still, the only sound was thevaluable lesson. I now see the value of a gentler
slow drumbeat of my own stubborn pulse. The fetuspractice. Now, when I wake up feeling extra tired or
had died inside me weeks earlier, and I hadn't evenwith a tickle in my throat, I'm more inclined to
known. Two days later, I was in the hospital for apractice restorative poses and pranayama, rather
D&C.than plowing ahead through standing poses. I now
Still, a week later, I was back at my goal-orientedsee yoga as a source of healing, rather than solely a
practice, pushing myself as hard as ever. I had tomeans toward strength, flexibility, and achieving a flat
lose the extra pounds I'd put on, weight I felt I'dstomach. Yoga is about health -- mental, spiritual, and
gained for no good reason. I didn't tell my yogaphysical -- and sometimes being healthy means letting
teacher that I'd miscarried until a month after itgo of a goal. It means attending to the intelligence of
happened. When I did tell her, she suggested I focusthe body, and taking into account the particular
on restorative poses for a while, to help myself heal,moment you're living in. Pregnancy requires a kind of
but I ignored her advice. Enough time had passed, Iphysical devotion to the child inside of you, and yoga
figured. I felt fine. And besides, restorative poses-- responsible, attendant, respectful yoga -- requires a
wouldn't help me lose any weight.devotion to the body, mind, and spirit, wherever
I was also determined to get pregnant again, as soonthey happen to be on a given day. Yoga's taught me
as possible. I charted my cycle fanatically, taking mysomething about my tendency toward
temperature every morning, monitoring my cervicalbull-headedness; I'm hoping it's a lesson I can take
fluid and checking my cervical position each time I satinto my life as a parent as well.